Saturday, August 25
Moms trump cowboys and indians
Jim's mom made us pancakes for breakfast this morning. Scrumptious! The quest is at an end.
Completing the loop
My parents gave us a fast guided tour of Nashville today. It was nice. We went to a used bookstore (Bookman and Bookwoman) which was so full of books that were slightly out of alphabetical order and double-shelved. This was followed by lunch at Fido, which was full of college students. We went from there to the Opryland Hotel which is huge and full of plants and absurd and worth seeing, and then to a cowboy bar. The bar was, I believe, called "the Stage" and we saw a couple bands play. They were both better than your average bar band. But then, we're in Nashville.
When we got hungry we moved on to the Station where we ate some pizza and saw a couple other bands. Opening there was a guy named Simon Bruce who wrote boring songs and was accompanied by a very good violinist. While he wasn't entertaining me I entertained myself by turning my plastic water cup into a plastic dog which later in the evening really impressed some girl. The real band was a group called the Greencards (mostly from Australia and England) made up of one violin, one mandolin, one bass, and one guitar. Everyone but the bassist had unbelievable chops and was insistent on proving it to you. The bassist was not bad, but was certainly less demonstrative. She did most of the singing, but they all had fine voices. They were a great band. I'm very glad we saw them.
We finished off the evening with pound cake and fruit and ice cream on the porch, because the weather finally broke, and then the power went out. It just came back on, so I'm throwing this up here and then to bed.
Tomorrow: the final drive.
When we got hungry we moved on to the Station where we ate some pizza and saw a couple other bands. Opening there was a guy named Simon Bruce who wrote boring songs and was accompanied by a very good violinist. While he wasn't entertaining me I entertained myself by turning my plastic water cup into a plastic dog which later in the evening really impressed some girl. The real band was a group called the Greencards (mostly from Australia and England) made up of one violin, one mandolin, one bass, and one guitar. Everyone but the bassist had unbelievable chops and was insistent on proving it to you. The bassist was not bad, but was certainly less demonstrative. She did most of the singing, but they all had fine voices. They were a great band. I'm very glad we saw them.
We finished off the evening with pound cake and fruit and ice cream on the porch, because the weather finally broke, and then the power went out. It just came back on, so I'm throwing this up here and then to bed.
Tomorrow: the final drive.
Friday, August 24
ICN: the difference between pickers and picnickers
Some things from some days (of recency):
Also, I regret that I must inform you all that Trefor has been badly injured.
He was driving when we got into a completely surreal accident:
Also, I regret that I must inform you all that Trefor has been badly injured.
He was driving when we got into a completely surreal accident:
Literary anecdote
I nearly forgot to mention a beautiful moment that happened the other day. As we entered Oklahoma I drove over a turtle that was crossing the road. Steinbeckian!
Thursday, August 23
Fugue in Jim sharp minor
Now I will also tell you of the events that have transpired since last I blogged.
Firstly, Jim got to post in Amarillo because the KOA had wifi. I did not because the wifi password that they gave us worked for only one computer and Jim got it punched in first. Lame. Then last night the motel we chose didn't have any internet. Also lame.
Jim failed to mention that Stewart gave me a piece of petrified wood, a note about petrified wood and a Stewart's postcard. But Jim got none of these things. Perhaps the only person to enter the store who did not receive these things. So all Jim's victories (mini golf, cows...) are as nothing compared to the favor shown to me by Stewart.
I actually liked my Iron Skillet breakfast. I got three biscuits covered in sausage gravy with two eggs on top. For less than five dollars!
While Jim was driving a pebble got kicked up somehow and put a small crack in my windshield. I am pretty bummed. My car has held up super well this entire trip and we were only about four days from home when it had to go and get cracked.
My boots are awesome.
Everyone that goes to Cadillac Ranch seems to tag the cars. Jim has been trying to get me to tag things for half the trip and yet I had to convince him that we should write our names. Also, he needs to call that girl from Wisconsin who left her number on a car.
I got in touch with my Uncle. Well, we played phone tag anyway. Apparently they are going to be out recording and Deana will be performing (I think) in Chicago when we were hoping to visit so it will have to be another time. Too bad, I was looking forward to seeing them and their place in Branson.
I blogged earlier that I thought we were on a never ending quest for Cowboy pancakes. Unfortunately we seem to be on a never ending quest for any sort of non chain restaurant pancakes. One of our stops in New Mexico (or Texas or Oklahoma, they are all starting to blur together) was at yet another of those kitschy Indian trading post gift shops. The reason for the stop at this one, however, was an advertised pancake house. We missed the exit but my desire for pancakes was so great that we took the next exit (8 miles away) turned around and made the stop. Imagine my disappointment when I found that it was closed. It looks as though I will not get Cowboy or Indian pancakes on this trip. Are there Cavalry pancakes somewhere in Tennessee? Please?
Now we are at Jim's parents' house where there is internet aplenty. They took us to the Loveless cafe for dinner. I had yummy bbq pork and Jim ate bunch of sides. Delicious biscuits as well.
Last little comment. The backs of trucks are sometimes interesting or entertaining and, on a roadtrip, we see a lot of them. There is a trucking company called Covenant that has stickers on the back that look identical to the "this vehicle makes wide right turn" stickers but instead say "It's not a choice. It is a child." Funnier to me was a truck that we saw yesterday that had a sticker that read "This vehicle makes ridiculously huge right turns." Awesome. We wished we knew the story behind that one.
Firstly, Jim got to post in Amarillo because the KOA had wifi. I did not because the wifi password that they gave us worked for only one computer and Jim got it punched in first. Lame. Then last night the motel we chose didn't have any internet. Also lame.
Jim failed to mention that Stewart gave me a piece of petrified wood, a note about petrified wood and a Stewart's postcard. But Jim got none of these things. Perhaps the only person to enter the store who did not receive these things. So all Jim's victories (mini golf, cows...) are as nothing compared to the favor shown to me by Stewart.
I actually liked my Iron Skillet breakfast. I got three biscuits covered in sausage gravy with two eggs on top. For less than five dollars!
While Jim was driving a pebble got kicked up somehow and put a small crack in my windshield. I am pretty bummed. My car has held up super well this entire trip and we were only about four days from home when it had to go and get cracked.
My boots are awesome.
Everyone that goes to Cadillac Ranch seems to tag the cars. Jim has been trying to get me to tag things for half the trip and yet I had to convince him that we should write our names. Also, he needs to call that girl from Wisconsin who left her number on a car.
I got in touch with my Uncle. Well, we played phone tag anyway. Apparently they are going to be out recording and Deana will be performing (I think) in Chicago when we were hoping to visit so it will have to be another time. Too bad, I was looking forward to seeing them and their place in Branson.
I blogged earlier that I thought we were on a never ending quest for Cowboy pancakes. Unfortunately we seem to be on a never ending quest for any sort of non chain restaurant pancakes. One of our stops in New Mexico (or Texas or Oklahoma, they are all starting to blur together) was at yet another of those kitschy Indian trading post gift shops. The reason for the stop at this one, however, was an advertised pancake house. We missed the exit but my desire for pancakes was so great that we took the next exit (8 miles away) turned around and made the stop. Imagine my disappointment when I found that it was closed. It looks as though I will not get Cowboy or Indian pancakes on this trip. Are there Cavalry pancakes somewhere in Tennessee? Please?
Now we are at Jim's parents' house where there is internet aplenty. They took us to the Loveless cafe for dinner. I had yummy bbq pork and Jim ate bunch of sides. Delicious biscuits as well.
Last little comment. The backs of trucks are sometimes interesting or entertaining and, on a roadtrip, we see a lot of them. There is a trucking company called Covenant that has stickers on the back that look identical to the "this vehicle makes wide right turn" stickers but instead say "It's not a choice. It is a child." Funnier to me was a truck that we saw yesterday that had a sticker that read "This vehicle makes ridiculously huge right turns." Awesome. We wished we knew the story behind that one.
Our winding down starts winding down
Trefor - Hey, I see a sign for the biggest cross in the Western Hemisphere. It's in three miles, you want to go look at it?
Jim - I am looking at it. [points]
Yesterday we did a few things. We started by going to the Iron Skillet for a mediocre breakfast that came highly recommended. Trefor then got pulled over (by Officer CRay) for going about ten over the limit and got a written warning. Moments later we saw CRay pulling over a semi, so perhaps he had a quota to fill. We stopped in a storefront so Trefor could get himself two pairs of boots and I could think about and eventually decide against buying a shirt (they had one I really liked but not in my size).
Our first premeditated stop was at the Cadillac Ranch, which is a patch of dirt out in the middle of a cow pasture where someone has half-buried several Cadillacs and many people have painted and written on them. It was incredibly windy. We looked at them for a while and then wrote our names and left. When we arrived a trucker was just leaving and when we left three groups of people were arriving (including a trio moving to Virginia). It seems to do well. And deserves to.
The only other thing we'd planned on seeing was the Route 66 Museum/Devil's Rope Museum which is a small room telling the history of Route 66 and a huge room dedicated to barbed wire. We learned all about how it's made and what different kinds of it are called and brands and fence-making. And I use "learned" loosely because it was a giant tightly-packed room and it had far more information than either of us could possibly absorb. We also each drank a bottle of Route Beer 66.
Our major unpremeditated stop was, as previously alluded to, the largest cross in the western hemisphere. There isn't much to say for it other than that it really is huge. Also that it's dedicated to unborn babies and the statue of crying Jesus with an unborn fetus is disgusting and unnecessary.
We've made a major departure from our schedule for the last leg of our trip. Our Branson stay has come undone, and so last night we drove as far towards Nashville as we could and we ended up sleeping in the most terrible motel I've ever stayed in somewhere in Arkansas (which is unimpressive as a state). Today we got up, ate at a Waffle House (which is grand) and booked it over here to my parents' house in Nashville. Along the way we hit the worst traffic we've seen all trip and got stuck for about three hours. It was slow enough that we could get out, walk to the side of the road, pee, and then walk back and find the car in nearly the same place we left it. But now we are here, and we will stay tomorrow and take off the next morning for Virginia where our trip will come to a close. A sweet and gentle ending, from my parents' house to Trefor's.
Jim - I am looking at it. [points]
Yesterday we did a few things. We started by going to the Iron Skillet for a mediocre breakfast that came highly recommended. Trefor then got pulled over (by Officer CRay) for going about ten over the limit and got a written warning. Moments later we saw CRay pulling over a semi, so perhaps he had a quota to fill. We stopped in a storefront so Trefor could get himself two pairs of boots and I could think about and eventually decide against buying a shirt (they had one I really liked but not in my size).
Our first premeditated stop was at the Cadillac Ranch, which is a patch of dirt out in the middle of a cow pasture where someone has half-buried several Cadillacs and many people have painted and written on them. It was incredibly windy. We looked at them for a while and then wrote our names and left. When we arrived a trucker was just leaving and when we left three groups of people were arriving (including a trio moving to Virginia). It seems to do well. And deserves to.
The only other thing we'd planned on seeing was the Route 66 Museum/Devil's Rope Museum which is a small room telling the history of Route 66 and a huge room dedicated to barbed wire. We learned all about how it's made and what different kinds of it are called and brands and fence-making. And I use "learned" loosely because it was a giant tightly-packed room and it had far more information than either of us could possibly absorb. We also each drank a bottle of Route Beer 66.
Our major unpremeditated stop was, as previously alluded to, the largest cross in the western hemisphere. There isn't much to say for it other than that it really is huge. Also that it's dedicated to unborn babies and the statue of crying Jesus with an unborn fetus is disgusting and unnecessary.
We've made a major departure from our schedule for the last leg of our trip. Our Branson stay has come undone, and so last night we drove as far towards Nashville as we could and we ended up sleeping in the most terrible motel I've ever stayed in somewhere in Arkansas (which is unimpressive as a state). Today we got up, ate at a Waffle House (which is grand) and booked it over here to my parents' house in Nashville. Along the way we hit the worst traffic we've seen all trip and got stuck for about three hours. It was slow enough that we could get out, walk to the side of the road, pee, and then walk back and find the car in nearly the same place we left it. But now we are here, and we will stay tomorrow and take off the next morning for Virginia where our trip will come to a close. A sweet and gentle ending, from my parents' house to Trefor's.
Wednesday, August 22
A toad just pooped two feet to my left
Today was a day of commute, primarily.
We got up late and hit the road as fast as possible. We drove for only a few miles before we had to stop at Stewart's Petrified Wood. Stewart's is sandwiched by two other petrified wood brokers, the Rock Factory and Painted Rock Indian Center, but it stands out because it is full of dinosaurs. Homemade dinosaurs. I believe that Charles Stewart is one of America's greatest entrepreneurs. Also at Stewarts is a flock (a herd?) of ostriches. You may feed them or purchase their eggs, with which Stewart will supply some free recipes.
Charles is getting on in the years, though, and today when we stopped by the store was being run by his son. He greeted everyone who walked through the door in this manner: "have you been to the petrified forests before?"
"no" comes the reply
"well, let me give you your free piece of petrified wood"
We looked around and asked some questions, and the man knows his rocks. I took a bunch of pictures and Trefor and I each purchased some desert glass. His is larger and beautifully colored and mine is small and looks like it has a blue Apatosaurus inside of it.
We got back on the road (historic Route 66) and drove until we saw some Indian Trading Posts. We looked in a couple. They have some nice jewelry and a lot of kitschy junk.
After a while of driving, I was starting to get hungry and I saw a sign on the side of the road that said "Buffet $7.99: two for one on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays". I immediately pulled off and into the Route 66 Casino where Trefor and I both joined the Players' Club (free) which entitled us to not only use the buffet, but we each got a card with five dollars worth of gambling money on it, and a hat. Beautiful. I suggested we just cash out the five dollars and get a free buffet but Trefor thought that we probably couldn't, so we each wasted our five in a slot machine then we ate at the buffet, which had many more vegetarian options than the one we hit in Las Vegas. Trefor dropped another five real dollars to show his support for the casino, and then we took off.
The rest of the drive was relatively uneventful, but it included our cruising across the entire state of New Mexico which is unbelievably gorgeous. Everything is pale red, blue, or green and the rocks are in absurd formations. It might be my favorite thing we've driven through so far.
Now we are in Amarillo, Texas in another campground which is on a street full of strip clubs. Las Vegas just won't leave us.
We got up late and hit the road as fast as possible. We drove for only a few miles before we had to stop at Stewart's Petrified Wood. Stewart's is sandwiched by two other petrified wood brokers, the Rock Factory and Painted Rock Indian Center, but it stands out because it is full of dinosaurs. Homemade dinosaurs. I believe that Charles Stewart is one of America's greatest entrepreneurs. Also at Stewarts is a flock (a herd?) of ostriches. You may feed them or purchase their eggs, with which Stewart will supply some free recipes.
Charles is getting on in the years, though, and today when we stopped by the store was being run by his son. He greeted everyone who walked through the door in this manner: "have you been to the petrified forests before?"
"no" comes the reply
"well, let me give you your free piece of petrified wood"
We looked around and asked some questions, and the man knows his rocks. I took a bunch of pictures and Trefor and I each purchased some desert glass. His is larger and beautifully colored and mine is small and looks like it has a blue Apatosaurus inside of it.
We got back on the road (historic Route 66) and drove until we saw some Indian Trading Posts. We looked in a couple. They have some nice jewelry and a lot of kitschy junk.
After a while of driving, I was starting to get hungry and I saw a sign on the side of the road that said "Buffet $7.99: two for one on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays". I immediately pulled off and into the Route 66 Casino where Trefor and I both joined the Players' Club (free) which entitled us to not only use the buffet, but we each got a card with five dollars worth of gambling money on it, and a hat. Beautiful. I suggested we just cash out the five dollars and get a free buffet but Trefor thought that we probably couldn't, so we each wasted our five in a slot machine then we ate at the buffet, which had many more vegetarian options than the one we hit in Las Vegas. Trefor dropped another five real dollars to show his support for the casino, and then we took off.
The rest of the drive was relatively uneventful, but it included our cruising across the entire state of New Mexico which is unbelievably gorgeous. Everything is pale red, blue, or green and the rocks are in absurd formations. It might be my favorite thing we've driven through so far.
Now we are in Amarillo, Texas in another campground which is on a street full of strip clubs. Las Vegas just won't leave us.
Tuesday, August 21
Post-Jason Wrap Up
Jim and Trefor left me at McCarran Airport more than 24 hours ago, but I still have some stuff to report on, so I am continuing to abuse my position as blog author and post from the safety of my home in NYC.
In no particular order:
JASON: Ok, I've got one.
JIM: (guesses) A giant rainforest ant carrying a tree trunk on its back?
TREFOR: (guesses) A fortune cookie with no fortune in it?
JASON: Hmm...well, this is a tough one. The thing I was thinking of was a pile of hair that a soldier, returning from two years of war, had just shaved off of his face after not shaving for the entire war, being released into a river. I think I have to give this one to Trefor. I was leaning towards Jim at the beginning because of the connection between an ant and a soldier. But I think the metaphorical angst of an empty fortune cookie is closer to the spirit of the thing.
I wish we had recorded the game because we had some really good arguments about some of them, but I can't remember them that well. Maybe Jim or Trefor can?
In no particular order:
- Las Vegas is the worst.
- Las Vegas may not actually be the worst. The worst may, in fact, be Bakersfield, California.
- Car Games are awesome.
- One player thinks of a thing. Anything. It can be a concrete object, an abstract concept, or anything in between. Just: Think of a thing.
- The other players take turns making one guess apiece as to what thing the first player is thinking of.
- The first player decides whose guess is the closest using whatever criteria for comparison that they want.
- House Rule: The players may then put forth an argument for why their guess was the closest. This is the most fun part, as the reasons and rationalizations become tortuously stretched.
JASON: Ok, I've got one.
JIM: (guesses) A giant rainforest ant carrying a tree trunk on its back?
TREFOR: (guesses) A fortune cookie with no fortune in it?
JASON: Hmm...well, this is a tough one. The thing I was thinking of was a pile of hair that a soldier, returning from two years of war, had just shaved off of his face after not shaving for the entire war, being released into a river. I think I have to give this one to Trefor. I was leaning towards Jim at the beginning because of the connection between an ant and a soldier. But I think the metaphorical angst of an empty fortune cookie is closer to the spirit of the thing.
I wish we had recorded the game because we had some really good arguments about some of them, but I can't remember them that well. Maybe Jim or Trefor can?
- Favorite State? Oregon.
- JetSet is amazing.
- I miss my boys already.
Road trip is one letter away from rad trip
I pause in my blitzing of Americana to blitz your eyeballs:
And by special request:
Rad trip is "pirt dar" backwards, which is spoonerized to "dirt par". Dirt par obviously is how many shots it would take to get a golf ball into the hole were all the grass removed, which is way higher than a normal par. If you take "a normal par" and shift the last word to the first and remove the spaces, you get "paranormal", which is the study of things outside of the ordinary. However, what we are doing on our road trip is a study of the very ordinary, the things that make peoples' day to day lives be what they are.
And by special request:
Rad trip is "pirt dar" backwards, which is spoonerized to "dirt par". Dirt par obviously is how many shots it would take to get a golf ball into the hole were all the grass removed, which is way higher than a normal par. If you take "a normal par" and shift the last word to the first and remove the spaces, you get "paranormal", which is the study of things outside of the ordinary. However, what we are doing on our road trip is a study of the very ordinary, the things that make peoples' day to day lives be what they are.
Nerdy comments for the day
I confessed to Jim that I always think of pi when I see 3.14 or slight variations thereon. Our most recent gas price was nearly $pi (it was 3.149).
The Nevada Arizona state line was the most fun to cross. We got to drive over the Hoover Dam and we changed time zones, but not time. Arizona follows Mountain time, but they do not observe daylight saving time so the hour forward is canceled by their lack of "Spring forward." Tomorrow, however, we lose two hours by the time we get to Amarillo.
The Nevada Arizona state line was the most fun to cross. We got to drive over the Hoover Dam and we changed time zones, but not time. Arizona follows Mountain time, but they do not observe daylight saving time so the hour forward is canceled by their lack of "Spring forward." Tomorrow, however, we lose two hours by the time we get to Amarillo.
Trefor chimes in...
So, some of you may have noticed that I haven't written in a while. Eh. I forget, I get tired, the other people on the trip tell of the day and I don't feel obliged to post anything. So here is just some random thoughts so that you can hear my words again for a bit.
Jim is the best dude ever. Jason and I stopped at the In-N-Out Burger for breakfast/lunch. Jason convinced me that it was a true piece of Americana and that it was comparable to Five Guys. It wasn't. But, more importantly to the story, the only things that Jim could have eaten from the menu were french fries and milkshakes. He didn't want either. The place was packed so there were very few tables, we could only find one with two chairs so, while Jason and I ate, Jim stood, looking somewhat uncomfortable, in the corner near the door. He also let me check in to a motel tonight even though it costs more money than a campsite somewhere.
For those of you following the itinerary I wanted to point out that we didn't end up spending the night in the desert.
It was tremendously awesome of Garrick to let us crash at his place in San Francisco for three nights. I was the one who left the pillow. My mind must have been too occupied with Guitar Hero to really take complete stock of everything.
I really enjoyed driving down CA-1 for a while. Very cool views of the Pacific to enjoy. Also cool that the mountains are right there on your other side.
I wouldn't want to spend any more time in Vegas, but I think I had a much better time than the other two so I thought I should mention that. Vegas is like costume jewelry, flashy, but without much substance.
We had a great time hanging out with Jason but Jim and I were noticing how weird the timing was. This past week, while Jason was here, we didn't cover that much ground (about 1200 miles or so compared to the 4500 the previous week). This upcoming week will be much more like the first week in pace and tone. So this past week was almost like a vacation from the roadtrip with Jason visiting. This thought is becoming more incoherent as I write more so I am stopping here in the hopes that you understand.
Carr's ginger lemon cremes are delicious.
Most valuable purchase at the Amoeba music shop was an album by a J-Pop group called the Oranges. It is really entertaining and cost only $2, making it a really high amount of enjoyment per dollar, hence most valuable.
Watching the scenery change from the California coast, to the Mojave, to outside the Hoover Dam, to outside Sedona/Flagstaff has been the most dramatic set of changes so far, in my opinion. Who knew there were thick forests in Arizona?
Jim is the best dude ever. Jason and I stopped at the In-N-Out Burger for breakfast/lunch. Jason convinced me that it was a true piece of Americana and that it was comparable to Five Guys. It wasn't. But, more importantly to the story, the only things that Jim could have eaten from the menu were french fries and milkshakes. He didn't want either. The place was packed so there were very few tables, we could only find one with two chairs so, while Jason and I ate, Jim stood, looking somewhat uncomfortable, in the corner near the door. He also let me check in to a motel tonight even though it costs more money than a campsite somewhere.
For those of you following the itinerary I wanted to point out that we didn't end up spending the night in the desert.
It was tremendously awesome of Garrick to let us crash at his place in San Francisco for three nights. I was the one who left the pillow. My mind must have been too occupied with Guitar Hero to really take complete stock of everything.
I really enjoyed driving down CA-1 for a while. Very cool views of the Pacific to enjoy. Also cool that the mountains are right there on your other side.
I wouldn't want to spend any more time in Vegas, but I think I had a much better time than the other two so I thought I should mention that. Vegas is like costume jewelry, flashy, but without much substance.
We had a great time hanging out with Jason but Jim and I were noticing how weird the timing was. This past week, while Jason was here, we didn't cover that much ground (about 1200 miles or so compared to the 4500 the previous week). This upcoming week will be much more like the first week in pace and tone. So this past week was almost like a vacation from the roadtrip with Jason visiting. This thought is becoming more incoherent as I write more so I am stopping here in the hopes that you understand.
Carr's ginger lemon cremes are delicious.
Most valuable purchase at the Amoeba music shop was an album by a J-Pop group called the Oranges. It is really entertaining and cost only $2, making it a really high amount of enjoyment per dollar, hence most valuable.
Watching the scenery change from the California coast, to the Mojave, to outside the Hoover Dam, to outside Sedona/Flagstaff has been the most dramatic set of changes so far, in my opinion. Who knew there were thick forests in Arizona?
Monday, August 20
I'm a little bit hungry, I'm a little bit rock 'n roll
We dropped Jason off at the airport this morning. It was a sad event.
Before we did that, however, we got food at an In-N-Out Burger (or rather, they did, there wasn't much for me) and picked up some tape so he could fix a busted duffel bag.
After Jason, Trefor and I drove to the Hoover Dam, which, much like Mount Rushmore, is a huge achievement that is incredible and awe inspiring, but not that much fun. We drove up to the parking area on the Nevada side and were asked for seven dollars, so we decided to just drive on, but when we got to the Arizona side parking was free, so we walked it and looked in the gift shops. There were tours but we had neither time, money, nor inspiration to take one.
We drove on and I fell asleep for an hour and a half. When I awoke I was hungry and we were near out of gas, so we jumped off the next time we saw a sign for gas and found ourselves face to face with the famous Road Kill Cafe and its neighbor, the less famous Last Chance Gas Station and Diner and Hardware Store (I don't know its actual name), which is a gas station, convenience store, diner and hardware store. As the Roadkill offered nothing I could eat, we got gas and food and played checkers at the Last Chance, which was delightful. We each got a burrito and a pineapple milkshake, and I also did something completely out of character for me and splurged on a thing in which I was not particularly interested in actually eating, I got an order of Freedom Fries. Just because why would they still call them that?
We also tried to stop along the way at a trading post with the world's largest map of Route 66 painted on the side of it, but it was closed. Now we are in Holbrook, staying at America's Best Value Inn and planning on stopping at Stewart's Petrified Wood in the morning and then moving on to Amarillo tomorrow.
Before we did that, however, we got food at an In-N-Out Burger (or rather, they did, there wasn't much for me) and picked up some tape so he could fix a busted duffel bag.
After Jason, Trefor and I drove to the Hoover Dam, which, much like Mount Rushmore, is a huge achievement that is incredible and awe inspiring, but not that much fun. We drove up to the parking area on the Nevada side and were asked for seven dollars, so we decided to just drive on, but when we got to the Arizona side parking was free, so we walked it and looked in the gift shops. There were tours but we had neither time, money, nor inspiration to take one.
We drove on and I fell asleep for an hour and a half. When I awoke I was hungry and we were near out of gas, so we jumped off the next time we saw a sign for gas and found ourselves face to face with the famous Road Kill Cafe and its neighbor, the less famous Last Chance Gas Station and Diner and Hardware Store (I don't know its actual name), which is a gas station, convenience store, diner and hardware store. As the Roadkill offered nothing I could eat, we got gas and food and played checkers at the Last Chance, which was delightful. We each got a burrito and a pineapple milkshake, and I also did something completely out of character for me and splurged on a thing in which I was not particularly interested in actually eating, I got an order of Freedom Fries. Just because why would they still call them that?
We also tried to stop along the way at a trading post with the world's largest map of Route 66 painted on the side of it, but it was closed. Now we are in Holbrook, staying at America's Best Value Inn and planning on stopping at Stewart's Petrified Wood in the morning and then moving on to Amarillo tomorrow.
Les Vargas is a dweeb
Unless you are looking to bolster your collection of business-card sized pictures of women with stars on their nipples, Las Vegas does not have much to offer in the way of cheap entertainment. There is plenty to do that will no doubt blow your mind for vast sums of money, however. We spent a deal of time regretting our inability to afford any of Cirque du Soleil's dozen or so currently running shows.
We did see everything we could. Some lions, some flamingos, and the Sirens of TI show put on by Treasure Island. Sirens made me really wish I could work in a situation like Las Vegas where a person can write, direct, and choreograph a work of complete absurdity made of childish double entendres and be given more production funding than could possibly be useful.
I spent all my time looking. Jason and Trefor gambled a bit, mostly if not exclusively on slot machines. Gambling confuses me. It certainly does not look very fun. The people doing it tend to seem bored and disappointed. The appeal eludes me.
We got up this morning and decided to backtrack ninety miles to see the desert, but when we got halfway we hit ridiculous traffic and the driving time proved itself not worthwhile, so we came back. Previous to that we had gone to IHOP for breakfast. Later than that I decided that chronological storytelling was for suckers. Between those events sometime we checked into the Tropicana and spent something like twelve hours wandering the strip.
Dining in Las Vegas is also less than ideal. Towards the end I was getting thirsty and I made everyone go to the one dollar frozen margarita place with me only to find out that the alcohol was premixed and I could not get a virgin. I got a cup of seltzer, but it cost two dollars. We did dinner at a buffet, the cheapest we could find (twenty dollars), and it was okay, but certainly not noteworthy. They had enormous mounds of seafood which Jason partook in to some degree. They also had an "international cheese section" which turned out to be brie, swiss, and cheddar. I suppose.
I am disappointed in Las Vegas on two major counts. One is that I was expecting more free shows. There're the Sirens and an unimpressive volcano somewhere and the fountains at the Bellagio, but I always figured there'd be a whole lot of place with things happening in front of them or even inside of them that were huge and for free to attract me in to gamble. I did try to see a dolphin tank and a shark exhibit but both cost money and closed around ten. This points to my other disappointment. Las Vegas shuts down early. Not the gambling. You can gamble anytime. But everything that is interesting to look at closes between ten and midnight. This should not be true. Las Vegas should be rocking all the time for free.
Internet in our hotel costs fifteen dollars per day, so I am writing this (at 4:30 in the morning) on my computer to post later. It may be a few days. These are our last moments with Jason. By the time you do read this we'll undoubtedly be rolling two deep again. It will be sad, but we'll do. Our trip has been in a lull for the last week, multiple days in a few places, so this next week will pick the pace back up. The time is passing fast. We'll be back with you soon.
We did see everything we could. Some lions, some flamingos, and the Sirens of TI show put on by Treasure Island. Sirens made me really wish I could work in a situation like Las Vegas where a person can write, direct, and choreograph a work of complete absurdity made of childish double entendres and be given more production funding than could possibly be useful.
I spent all my time looking. Jason and Trefor gambled a bit, mostly if not exclusively on slot machines. Gambling confuses me. It certainly does not look very fun. The people doing it tend to seem bored and disappointed. The appeal eludes me.
We got up this morning and decided to backtrack ninety miles to see the desert, but when we got halfway we hit ridiculous traffic and the driving time proved itself not worthwhile, so we came back. Previous to that we had gone to IHOP for breakfast. Later than that I decided that chronological storytelling was for suckers. Between those events sometime we checked into the Tropicana and spent something like twelve hours wandering the strip.
Dining in Las Vegas is also less than ideal. Towards the end I was getting thirsty and I made everyone go to the one dollar frozen margarita place with me only to find out that the alcohol was premixed and I could not get a virgin. I got a cup of seltzer, but it cost two dollars. We did dinner at a buffet, the cheapest we could find (twenty dollars), and it was okay, but certainly not noteworthy. They had enormous mounds of seafood which Jason partook in to some degree. They also had an "international cheese section" which turned out to be brie, swiss, and cheddar. I suppose.
I am disappointed in Las Vegas on two major counts. One is that I was expecting more free shows. There're the Sirens and an unimpressive volcano somewhere and the fountains at the Bellagio, but I always figured there'd be a whole lot of place with things happening in front of them or even inside of them that were huge and for free to attract me in to gamble. I did try to see a dolphin tank and a shark exhibit but both cost money and closed around ten. This points to my other disappointment. Las Vegas shuts down early. Not the gambling. You can gamble anytime. But everything that is interesting to look at closes between ten and midnight. This should not be true. Las Vegas should be rocking all the time for free.
Internet in our hotel costs fifteen dollars per day, so I am writing this (at 4:30 in the morning) on my computer to post later. It may be a few days. These are our last moments with Jason. By the time you do read this we'll undoubtedly be rolling two deep again. It will be sad, but we'll do. Our trip has been in a lull for the last week, multiple days in a few places, so this next week will pick the pace back up. The time is passing fast. We'll be back with you soon.
Sunday, August 19
We Can't Stop Here, This is Bat Country
The place of no note in which we stopped for dinner was Barstow, CA. You may remember it from the beginning of Hunter S. Thompson's FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS:
"We were just around Barstow, at the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold."
(That's if memory serves.)
There was a real estate agency in Barstow that we walked past on our way back from dinner. It was called "Exit Strategy Realty".
That sums up pretty much all you need to know about Barstow.
"We were just around Barstow, at the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold."
(That's if memory serves.)
There was a real estate agency in Barstow that we walked past on our way back from dinner. It was called "Exit Strategy Realty".
That sums up pretty much all you need to know about Barstow.
I lied to you before
I lied about having witnessed the Pacific. It was just the bay. But now I have. Now I have stepped into it with my feet. It's warmer than the Atlantic. At least the Gulf of Maine Atlantic.
We have diverged from our original plan today. It was too late by the time we arrived to get a map of the Mojave Desert, and it was too dark to find anything on our own, so we stopped for dinner somewhere unworthy of note and then pressed on deep into the night until we reached Las Vegas. It took about five tries to find a motel with rooms, but we did, and we're in it now. I'm currently scamming free internet off them (they wanted five dollars) so I can write to you lovelies.
Jason crashed when we arrived, but Trefor and I wanted to see the place all lit up. We just walked the strip and then wandered through Excalibur and Luxor. It's exactly what you think. It's extravagant and cheap and full of people who are mostly either scummy, sad, or foreign.
I believe that the plan is to sleep now, then get up in the afternoon, check out of this place, into our casino-hotel (the Tropicana), and roll around all evening and night absorbing whatever this place has to offer. I'm hoping for cheap buffets and free shows. Then the next morning Trefor and I are off to Arizona or something and Jason gets himself flown back to New York. We'll be sad to see him go.
Postscript: Nevada, like Illinois, did not have a welcome sign.
We have diverged from our original plan today. It was too late by the time we arrived to get a map of the Mojave Desert, and it was too dark to find anything on our own, so we stopped for dinner somewhere unworthy of note and then pressed on deep into the night until we reached Las Vegas. It took about five tries to find a motel with rooms, but we did, and we're in it now. I'm currently scamming free internet off them (they wanted five dollars) so I can write to you lovelies.
Jason crashed when we arrived, but Trefor and I wanted to see the place all lit up. We just walked the strip and then wandered through Excalibur and Luxor. It's exactly what you think. It's extravagant and cheap and full of people who are mostly either scummy, sad, or foreign.
I believe that the plan is to sleep now, then get up in the afternoon, check out of this place, into our casino-hotel (the Tropicana), and roll around all evening and night absorbing whatever this place has to offer. I'm hoping for cheap buffets and free shows. Then the next morning Trefor and I are off to Arizona or something and Jason gets himself flown back to New York. We'll be sad to see him go.
Postscript: Nevada, like Illinois, did not have a welcome sign.
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