Les Vargas is a dweeb

Unless you are looking to bolster your collection of business-card sized pictures of women with stars on their nipples, Las Vegas does not have much to offer in the way of cheap entertainment. There is plenty to do that will no doubt blow your mind for vast sums of money, however. We spent a deal of time regretting our inability to afford any of Cirque du Soleil's dozen or so currently running shows.

We did see everything we could. Some lions, some flamingos, and the Sirens of TI show put on by Treasure Island. Sirens made me really wish I could work in a situation like Las Vegas where a person can write, direct, and choreograph a work of complete absurdity made of childish double entendres and be given more production funding than could possibly be useful.

I spent all my time looking. Jason and Trefor gambled a bit, mostly if not exclusively on slot machines. Gambling confuses me. It certainly does not look very fun. The people doing it tend to seem bored and disappointed. The appeal eludes me.

We got up this morning and decided to backtrack ninety miles to see the desert, but when we got halfway we hit ridiculous traffic and the driving time proved itself not worthwhile, so we came back. Previous to that we had gone to IHOP for breakfast. Later than that I decided that chronological storytelling was for suckers. Between those events sometime we checked into the Tropicana and spent something like twelve hours wandering the strip.

Dining in Las Vegas is also less than ideal. Towards the end I was getting thirsty and I made everyone go to the one dollar frozen margarita place with me only to find out that the alcohol was premixed and I could not get a virgin. I got a cup of seltzer, but it cost two dollars. We did dinner at a buffet, the cheapest we could find (twenty dollars), and it was okay, but certainly not noteworthy. They had enormous mounds of seafood which Jason partook in to some degree. They also had an "international cheese section" which turned out to be brie, swiss, and cheddar. I suppose.

I am disappointed in Las Vegas on two major counts. One is that I was expecting more free shows. There're the Sirens and an unimpressive volcano somewhere and the fountains at the Bellagio, but I always figured there'd be a whole lot of place with things happening in front of them or even inside of them that were huge and for free to attract me in to gamble. I did try to see a dolphin tank and a shark exhibit but both cost money and closed around ten. This points to my other disappointment. Las Vegas shuts down early. Not the gambling. You can gamble anytime. But everything that is interesting to look at closes between ten and midnight. This should not be true. Las Vegas should be rocking all the time for free.

Internet in our hotel costs fifteen dollars per day, so I am writing this (at 4:30 in the morning) on my computer to post later. It may be a few days. These are our last moments with Jason. By the time you do read this we'll undoubtedly be rolling two deep again. It will be sad, but we'll do. Our trip has been in a lull for the last week, multiple days in a few places, so this next week will pick the pace back up. The time is passing fast. We'll be back with you soon.